What to do as a Visionary When Misunderstood by a Loved One[Part 2]

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What to do as a Visionary When Misunderstood by a Loved One[Part 2]


t is not good for man to be alone”, God told himself. “Alone” is a dreaded word for humans who are social animals, especially if the meaning has connotations of being rejected and leading to loneliness. A misunderstood visionary’s greatest pain at times is when they are “alone” because their friends and loved ones just don’t get it! We shared some of the things that we do when we misunderstand them in the previous post.

How the Visionary Suffers

Maybe, if we understood what we do to these visionaries, we would be able to cut down on the misunderstanding that we sometimes ignorantly show towards them. Being friends and loved ones, inherently they expect us to understand them without questioning. At times, some of these great visionaries might have little idea that they are special in a way.

So when misunderstood, these visionaries go through some personal sifting that looks like this:

  • They Doubt Themselves: Inherently, we are more productive when our self-esteem is high. We get it from our friends and loved ones. So when someone close to you or someone in authority over your life misunderstands you, doubt is the initial fruit that is born. At times, that is all that is needed for a visionary to abandon a vision—tell them that they are not good enough.
  • They Feel Alone and Abandoned: Granted, this state is ubiquitous the world over where great visionaries and leaders are. They are different and no wonder we misunderstand them. They download great ideas and take on insurmountable tasks. When we misunderstand them, they feel so alone. At that moment, just one person who can put their hand on their shoulders comes along, they add so much needed support. Nothing is crucial to a visionary than being supported.
  • They Feel Overwhelmed: When they are in doubt and feel alone and abandoned, at times a visionary gets so overwhelmed. Why? Because they are not just about to abandon their project. They must complete it. So lack of support brings in this illusionary overwhelm that at times leads them to depression.
  • They Feel Disillusioned: At times, the misunderstanding can get to the visionary. They might actually start doubting themselves. They might start doubting the vision or the purpose of going through with it. Given that they cannot see anything better to do, they become confused and disillusioned. It is the worst place for a visionary.
  • They Develop Mental Health Issues: In extreme cases, the visionary might develop a mental illness. Being alone, misunderstood, and unsupported is just too much for a human being who cares about a course can bear.

So what can we do if we misunderstand the Visionary?

We need to look at both angles: You as the friend to the visionary, and the visionary himself. I feel that after coming to understand how this great people work, we need to do the following:

  1. Accept them as they are: Never try to force them to change and fit into our own programs
  2. Give them support: Do not withdraw support from a visionary simply because you do not understand them. True friendship is “Carefree”, which means that you stick it out with them as friends and family. However, carefree is not the synonym for “careless”. Let them know that you do not “get them”, but you will support their unction and passion.
  3. Talk to them: Do not isolate them. Talking is one of the biggest ways that a visionary “refires”. It is therapeutic to them.

If you are a visionary that has been misunderstood, I would like to offer you a couple of nuggets to use. Ultimately, you need people in your life and you cannot “hermit” yourself. So when you feel totally misunderstood or even affronted and opposed by your loved ones because of championing something you love,

1. Talk to God:

I am willing to bet that it is God who placed that concept/idea/instinct or vision inside of you. It is Him who gave you the gift, talent and Divine ability. It is a hint of what He wants you to do in life. It would be great if you talked to Him in simple prayer and pour out your heart to Him. King David did this when his friends wanted to kill him after a setback. He got strength and instruction from God on how to handle the setback as well as his friends and companions.

2. Clarify The Vision:

This will clear so much. I love it when a visionary is misunderstood. This is an amazing platform to go back and make the vision plan and clear.

“That which creates change, is too expensive and is unreasonable is the stuff of legend. So clarify it. Make it as clear as possible”.

In fact, it is the perfect time to go and refine its relevance. Any vision that is not opposed is not impactful enough. However, that which creates change, is too expensive and is unreasonable is the stuff of legend. So clarify it. Make it as clear as possible. Probably that is why they don’t “get” you.

3. Talk to Uncle

At times the misunderstanding can be so great. People have been known to be thrown out of families because of this. However, God has given us uncles and aunties who not only are our fans, but also a great bridge between us and the rest of the family. Find such a one and talk to them. Pour your heart out to them. There are some friends, mentors, coaches and counsellors who are also great at this. Find them and talk to them too.

4. Acknowledge Your Difference

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away”

—Henry David Thoreau

It would serve you great comfort just to accept yourself as being different. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin and do not strive to fit it in. Of course when you accept your difference, you are also acknowledging that the people are different and will not readily understand you.

5. Protect your routine

The result of a misunderstanding can easily throw you out of the rails. The thing that you need to protect I what you do daily. Do not let any intimate opposition cause you to drop your daily routine.

Nothing is more destabilizing than losing your mojo, focus and drive.

Nothing is more destabilizing than losing your mojo, focus and drive. Keep this on no matter what. It would be great to especially protect your non-negotiables.

6. Mastermind

Find “men of like passions” and create a support group. Well, at times it might be difficult to get them but anyone who remotely understands you and your vision can be a member of this. Those who are passionate about it can also be great members. The sole purpose of this group should be develop the vision and develop yourselves.

More about masterminding here

7. Put on Magnanimity

Do not earmark your “now enemies” for probable retribution later on in the future. I know you have played it in your mind several times: you finally prospering and being in a position to rescue those who mistreated and misunderstood you. Do not build your dream with this energy. It is not worth it, although the soul feels so sweet and revels in the turn of events at the end.

8. Change your talk:

It is so easy and tempting to talk like a victim. If you are looking for sympathy, you will get isolation. If you are looking for understanding though, you would ask more questions than you would share your story in order to attract sympathy.

Keep on the dream. Keep it alive, and all the best. Like Zig ZIglar used to say, “I will see you at the top”