What to do as a Visionary When Misunderstood by a Loved One [Part 1]

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

—Apple Ad in 1997, “Think Different”

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I want to speak to two or three people. The first is a type of Joseph, and the second is a type of David. The third is a type of Jesus. All these three are some of the greatest visionaries this world will ever see. Joseph is the prime minister of Resilience. David is the SI Unit of Kingship and Jesus is the standard of Deliverance. Listen to this: they were all misunderstood by the closest people in their lives–their families!! Steve Jobs and Apple called them “misfits…crazy ones…trouble makers…round pegs in square holes”

Today, if we are not careful, we are stealing the dreams, killing the visions, and generally dissuading these great visionaries. We are forcing them to abandon their pursuits. We are making them feel awkward around us. We are greatly misunderstanding them and forcing them on a path that will make them “fit” where we want them to.

When I say “We” I mean their closest friends and family. The three people that I am going to talk about were all grossly misunderstood by their closest friends and families. Some of them suffered greatly at their hands.

How we are killing them:

1. Judging them:

We have a general mind-set of what we think they should do and how we envisage they should operate. Unfortunately for us, they do not fit in our thinking. So we judge them based on what we see in the physical realm. We do not understand them. We use measures and metrics to try and interpret their vision.

We are angry at them for not taking a job, or going to school, or refusing to move cities so that “they can get better opportunities”.

2. Laughing at them:

We mock them. We mock their passion. We mock their commitment. We mock their zeal. Partly it is because we do not understand why they care about it so much. The other part is because they shine a light of guilt on us. We want them to be “normal”. David was laughed at, so was Joseph and Jesus.

3. Abusing them:

We label them. We call them names. We abuse them. We see what they are doing and we try to interpret it with a label and a name. We think that is who they are. We do not see past their faults and mistakes. So we call them names. Jesus, Joseph and David were all mocked at different times of their lives

4. Withdrawing support:

We think they are wasting resources. Or at least we think that we can bend them to our sing out tune if we withdraw support. We dish it out in dire circumstances, and when we do, we lament that they should just abandon what they are doing and stop being a concern for everybody else. We kind of persecute them with our financial flagellum.

He is Planning For you

On this point alone, I warn you to be extremely careful. I can tell you that the visionary is a schemer. Anybody who comes in aid of a visionary and supports them is for eternity written in the heart of the visionary. And when the visionary finally succeeds with their pursuit, the very first people that will get the benefit of his vision will be those who supported him.

Those who withdrew support and tried to stop him will be like a stench in his nostrils. He won’t have much to do with them. He will not actively shun them, but he will not be comfortable allowing awkward moments with them. In short, he will cut them off from fellowship with them. Both Jesus and David exemplified this. Only Joseph stands above this. What a man!

5. Isolating them:

We do not talk to them. We only call those friend and loved ones who are “OK”, those whose life we understand. We do not want to meddle in the “startup” of the visionary, so we keep off. We leave the poor souls lonely and dejected.

7. Disrespecting them:

We lose so much respect for them given the fact that we do not understand them. They have nothing to show of their grand vision/project. Therefore we look down on them. We demean them and do not take note of them

8. Celebrate their intermediate “failures”:

We do this a lot. “See, I told you so, but you just won’t listen. I knew this would happen. The problem is that you cannot see it and you have adamantly refused to listen to any advice. When will your eyes be opened”? And so momentarily, you win a battle only for them to bounce back and continue waging their war, the only war they were born to fight and are determined to win.

Joseph:

By far, he is the Master Visionary. He dreams with God. He is the one who came so close to in his life alone; participate in God’s Ultimate Purpose–the prosperity of the Nations. What a man he was!

His father loved him but didn’t believe in his assignment. His brothers hated him and hated the fact that he had dreams. His dreams seemed so far-fetched to him. His dreams took so long to finally materialize. But when they did, it was in one single day. Black and white. Poor today, Popular tomorrow. Rags today, Riches tomorrow. In Prison today, in a Palace tomorrow. It had taken time, but when time arrived, the elevation was spectacular beyond any measure.

Joseph’s in Our Lives

The Josephs in our lives are not as forceful and fighters like David. They are the pure guys. Smart, intelligent but at times they are docile. They do not force themselves on people and they do not peddle their own agenda. They work hard but are so scared to ask for pay, they are that modest. So that is why you will find so many gifted of them not really having much of financial muscle, but their talent is unquestionable.

If not careful, they are the easiest to give up on their dreams. Their greatest need is acceptance, and belief in their dreams. They are special in that their dreams are for nations. However, they are the most ostracized and the easily forgotten. Our contemporary examples are Abraham Lincoln and Albert Einstein.

David:

Nobody exemplifies passion like this one. David was also forgotten by his own family. His father treated him like an afterthought, as if he never existed. He was sent to do the most menial of jobs. Nobody recognized what gift and talent the boy had. He was not a stand out good looking like his brothers.

Our Modern Day David

The David’s in our lives are not obviously gifted for everyone to see. They are in seclusion. Probably you have already counted them out and say that they will not amount to anything. That is why they are your errand boys. They do not feature in family discussions or gatherings. They are the ones to take care of “logistics” while the rest recline at the table. But watch out for the David. They do not look for your sympathy. They are so complete in themselves. They have a high sense of direction and spirituality. It is difficult to even say what their greatest need is. But you can easily be fooled and write a David away, laugh at him or isolate him. You would be so wrong.

Jesus:

How do you even begin to describe him. He is that “normal” child that grows up with promise. The parents know that there is something special about him. There is nothing spectacular for the most of his childhood apart from few spurts of the exemplary. Then one day, he makes an announcement that sends everyone in a tailspin. He takes on a project that nobody can wrap their minds on.

Abraham Lincoln, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Henry Ford are his contemporaries. His self confidence is so high up there. What suffers is not necessarily him, but your own belief system as a friend and family. You want to help him by asking him to abandon his project because it is embarrassing the perception you have of its failure. He is so headstrong. His project is not a pet project. It is his life. You dare not cross his path and try to dissuade him from it, you will be a victim. Ask Steve Jobs. Ask Apostle Peter.

What can we do to help these visionaries? And what can a visionary do who is misunderstood? We shall continue with this in the next post.