As much

as we live in interconnectedness, one of the most powerful things we can do is what we do alone. Every time we are alone and by ourselves, one cannot fail to see the opportunity to give birth to oneself.

We gain a lot when we are with other people. As a matter of fact, we do need each other. No man is an island. However, giving birth to oneself is something that is of necessity done alone. In fact, giving birth, of any kind, is a private, critical and intimate part of the human evolution.

To Self Birth is Critical

One cannot come to the fullness of their glory if they do not give birth to themselves. This self-birthing is not a fleeing thing that happens once and we forget about it. No, giving birth to oneself is a daily incremental endeavor.

It is an adventurous journey that has its rewards both in the interim and later on. To give birth to oneself is something that every visionary is aware of. No one great and no one worth their salt of grandeur ever achieved that feat by fluke.

What It Takes

In the previous article, we saw six things that are pillars of self-birthing. Without those, you cannot come to the fullness of who you are. Giving birth to oneself is simply working out your own glory and magnificence, daring to explore your potential to the dregs of the details.

In addition to the six prerequisites of giving birth to oneself, there are five practical things that we can do in order to achieve it. If we keep existing in this life without taking note of the need to birth ourselves to our magnificence, we are doing this world a great disservice.

1. Doing The Uncomfortable

This is paradoxical. The very nature our make up as humans seeks freedom, comfort, and ease. We seldom want to do the uncomfortable and the painful. In fact, our brain is structured in such a way that its work is to shield us from the uncomfortable new things that come in our lives, such as crisis, or even when we are pushing ourselves hard. Denzel Washington said, and I paraphrase, “Ease is a detrimental force to progress than hardship”

The Advantage of Discomfort

Discomfort is always going to be a part of our lives and if we are careful enough, we shall realize that it is through discomfort that we give birth to ourselves. Coach John Wooden said

“Adversity is the state in which man most easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then”

You will seldom have a moment of true introspection like that which adversity brings your way.

If you wanted to give birth to yourself, you will have to be someone that embraces discomfort. Discomfort will come into our lives or we will go to it, or both. The person that is waiting for discomfort to visit them is not someone that is in total and intentional control of their own birthing.

Two Routes

Let’s face it: we are not in absolute control of all the discomforts in our lives. In fact, the more we try to circumnavigate discomfort in life, the more we are less aware of who we really are. The more we are running away from giving birth to ourselves.

All By Itself

So we have two options. The first option is when you and I have no control of the discomforts of life. What do we do in such a situation? Myles Munroe said, “When you stay one place too long, life will bring a crisis to move you”

We can adapt in the meantime, we can make some adjustments, and we can also learn. We can also complain, whine, wait and wish to go back to the way things used to be. That strategy will not help you in giving birth to yourself.

All By Ourselves

The second option is the one I love. This is when we decide to go to where the discomfort is so that we can birth ourselves. We push ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually even when we do not want. The more we do this, the more a new us is brought forth.

Consider the following options in using discomfort to birth ourselves:

1. Can we institute self-discipline in our daily routines so that we are doing the important and difficult things first?
2. Can we face off and have that difficult conversation with a person we are related with?
3. Can we pull all the stops and implement ideas that have come to us?
4. Can we “put our bodies under” and do things such as physical exercises and put on a diet that is not cozy but it is functional?
5. Can we have some time to seriously think about our lives and the purpose for which we were created?
6. Can we choose to work more than we choose play and entertainment?
7. Can we look to provide solutions more than waiting for someone else to do so?
8. Can we dare face criticism and feedback about our behaviors and actions and be willing to accept and change?
9. Can we be humbler than we are proud?
10. Can we choose to be givers more than we are receivers?
11. Can we choose to go the extra mile other than just do the bare minimum and the required?
12. Can we stay with problems longer?

When all is said and done, discomfort plays a central role in determining our self birth. It goes without saying. Scot M Peck in the book The Road Less Travelled says,

Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom; indeed, they create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually. When we desire to encourage the growth of the human spirit, we challenge and encourage the human capacity to solve problems, just as in school we deliberately set problems for our children to solve.

If you wanted to give birth to yourself, consider reworking your relationship with discomfort in life. Let’s pick this up in the next article.