“Life doesn’t come with a money-back guarantee, and yet many of us live like it does. People are certain that they’ll keep their jobs. They’re certain of living a long, healthy life. Others might be certain that they’ll lose their jobs, or get sick and die young. Certainty comes in many forms, and it rarely corresponds to the truth”.
~ Kim George
Dear Kenyan Voter. About 4 years ago, I wrote this article that I am adapting to server the same purpose today. Probably by the time you are reading this, emotions will be running sky high. Let’s not be naive. It is a fact we all know that one of the two front runners in the presidential race will lose. This means that over 7 million Kenyan voters representing probably another 20 or so Kenyans will have a massive heart break. It is such a bitter pill to swallow…but slow down my friend…such is life in this fallen dark world. We have spent over 2 years of positioning, name calling, cajolling, throwing accusations and counter accusations, unleashing vicious tribal vitriol, demonstrations and all. It is culminating into a loss of one major politician today. It was always coming. It was always going to be one person losing. Unfortunately for the ones who aligned with him, it is an outcome that was not expected.
Right now emotions are raw and hearts are heavy. About 4 or 5 days ago, I read another prophecy from the same guy I read from 4 years ago and he predicted a loss. Thank God that the violence he predicted in Mombasa, Nairobi and Kisumu before the elections did not happen. I pray that that scenario continues. Nevertheless, when I read his prophecy, I was grabbed with such a heavy heart for the one destined to lose. Never in the history of the country has a man tried so much. Probably, we might not know a nationalist or a patriot like him. So I started the healing process. You ought to start yours too, whatever edge of the political divide you are from. Please read the rest and act accordingly.
God bless Kenya.
A story is told of a young man who had a group of friends visit his house. Amongst them was his girl friend, the one he was seriously making up his mind to marry. The thing is, he had never introduced her to his mum…yet she was able to point the girl out with absolute accuracy!
Am not saying that to avoid being broken-hearted we should be double minded. I am saying that there is always a 50/50 chance that when we take a stand or the pursuit of a life signature, we will either make it or we will be disappointed. Now that is life. What we need to learn is that as long as we live here on earth, we are all exposed to our hearts that we have given away to someone or a cause to be broken.
A parent’s heart can be broken by a child…
A boyfriend’s heart can be broken by a girlfriend…
A girlfriend’s heart can be broken by a boyfriend…
A pastor can break the hearts of a congregation
A congregation can break the heart of a pastor…
A car can break the heart of its owner
A student’s heart can be broken by exam results…
Arsenal breaks the hearts of its fans monthly…
And finally…millions of Kenyans’ hearts will be broken by the Election Results in 2017
It is not a question of if…it is simply going to happen.
How do we deal with this heartbreaks…and specifically, how do Kenyans who have voted for their candidate cope with the heartbreak of not winning the elections? If not careful, many Kenyans will carry the emotional baggage for months when their candidates don’t win.
The following are some of the nuggets you can use to carry through a disappointment or a heartbreak:
We do not control outcomes. We however can control how we react to outcomes. It is imprudent to think that only one outcome is the right one. We need to have large hearts that recognize beforehand that this can go either way: our way or away from us. When what we expected does not materialize, it is painful yes, but not the end of the world. We need to understand this before we give away our hearts. It is wisdom.
Healing of a broken heart is connected to how fast we make decisions. The most important decision you can make at the time of a heartbreak is to immediately accept that which is not under your control. Your heart is aching Yes. Accept that too. But immediately surrender to the prospect of the rough outcome. The worst decision you can make is to reject that which is beyond your control and linger in your pain for days. It doesn’t help. Moving on…as fast as possible…is the wisest decision to make in a heartbreak.
This one helped me a great deal in the last general elections. I felt cheated. I felt mocked. I felt pain and disappointment. I was heartbroken. So I talked to a friend of mine whom I knew supported the winning candidate, but was mature enough to empathize with me. Talking to him soothed me and calmed me.
Right now, powerful emotions of heartbreak can easily cloud your judgement. That is how suicide spirits work. In fact, the anatomy of Post Election Violence has its backbone on this illusion that this loss or failure is the worst to happen ever. They cloud people’s emotions to think that this is the worst thing ever to happen…and that if their way is not the way, then there is no point of living…and that the only thing that makes sense is death. Your loss is painful…but it is not the worst. You are more resilient than you think. Let me tell you the worst that is yet to happen: It is you coming to your deathbed having not fulfilled your potential. That is the only thing that will matter then and so let it matter now more than anything…including this heartbreak.
Are you still alive? Of course! Are you in pain? Most definitely Yes! You have two options: First, you could wallow in your pain and count your dream dead and buried. Second, you could hope for the best in the days to come regardless of what you are not in control with. Feel the pain. Feel the bitterness. Feel the disappointment but channel it for your greater good. Make a decision to do the exact opposite of what your pain and heartbreak tell you. You are much more in control of your mental and emotional faculties than you think. Greater things are yet to come.
Conceding defeat is healthy. Yet you need to speak to your heart. Tell your heart that you tried…you gave your best. You did all you could…but still…Lock yourself in a room..and if need be, just let go of the emotions. Acknowledge the disappointment. Acknowledge the pain. Feel it…then break the silence, and like a preacher fighting bees, start preaching hope to yourself having forced yourself to see the positives out of all the surrounding illusionary negatives that you are feeling. There is hope. Use this encouragement to reassure yourself with hope.
The key word here is immediately! At the very earliest opportunity, find people or someone whom you know was in the opposite camp…congratulate them from your heart. If you need Divine help here, please go get it. I assure you that this move alone will set the ball rolling for your heart to be calmed.
Man is born to trouble as sure as sparks fly upwards. That includes us being prone to heartbreaks, failures, disappointments and setbacks.
May God bless Kenya…and reconcile the hearts of those who lost with those who won.