T

he word “friend” is used so casually these days. In fact, the word “best friend” also gets thrown around leisurely. I think for the most part when people say “friend”, they actually mean acquaintance. That is why in the real sense, there are very few real friendships out there.

[ictt-tweet-inline]In the pursuit of purpose, pure friendships are of utmost importance.[/ictt-tweet-inline] A friend is someone with whom you have a meaningful connection. This connection takes different forms but for the most part, it is a heart or spirit connection. Life has given us very many examples of friendships being much stronger than family connections.

Kindred Hearts

Shepherd boy turned warrior David and Prince Jonathan in the Bible exude the closest friendship based on mutual respect and values than any you hear of. That friendship between those buddies was so tight knit, full of commitment and passion that gay people make reference to it. If you asked people the world over to think of a relationship of that nature, there will be very few to come by.

In my own life over the past few decades that I have been alive, I cannot count all my “true” friends on the fingers of my hand. They are fewer than 3. It is not that I am unfriendly neither is it that I have very high standards. I think it’s just a fact of life that truly pure friends are rare to come by for each of us. The fact is that we could have situations where we get such friendships and due to the pursuits of life, we lose them. They move away or we move away; they get married or we get married; they change or we change and so on. And so, it is possible to have had several “pure friends” at different times of life.

Importance of People

Life though is shaped by the friendships that we have, whether loose friendships or pure ones. The quality of it is by a large percentage shaped by the company that we keep:

• Chances are that you bought something because a pure friend recommended
• There are people who moved locations and houses based on the input of their pure friends
• Chances are that your children are attending school based on a recommendation of someone
• It could be that you got married because of a friendship connection

In the pursuit of purpose, it is absolutely critical to be in good company. This aspect of life is so serious that even Jesus Christ himself had an inner circle of Peter, John and James. The following, I believe are the reasons why we need this kind of friendship especially as we pursue our life purpose.

Why We need Pure Friendships

1. No Man is an island: We are social animals. We are wholly and totally dependent on one another to make it in life. Not that we are hopeless alone, but that that is the way the world system was meant to function.
2. God connects men of like passions: There are numerous stories where God connects “men of like passions” together. This happens in the Bible as well as outside of it. Take a look at sports arena. Take a look at the political arena. When there is a great purpose to be accomplished, it is important that people who are wholly passionate about it get connected to do it. In fact, at this point very many “friendships” get disconnected. You think you know a man until you get passionate over something. They either join you half-heartedly or just leave you altogether. However, you are never left alone. God connects men and women of like passions.
3. Two are better than one for they have a better return: A three cord strand cannot be easily broken. Alone you can only do so much. God’s principle of two confounds Mathematics. He says that one can chase a thousand but two can put ten thousand to flight. The principle is not of addition, it is a multiplication by a factor of ten (if I can remember my mathematics well). There is a multiplier effect when you are connected to the correct friendship.
4. Purpose requires the highest form of capital-social capital: Take a look at Jesus. A man who came from heaven “to seek and save that which was last” did not come with splendor. Gold and Jasper are pavement in the heavens, but He left them all behind. What did He come with? He came with zeal and passion. What did He do just before He got started with his “Father’s business?” He selected an inner circle of pure friendships. Great purpose require the greatest social capital of all time—pure friendships.

What Friendship Does to purpose pursuit

So you have to ask yourself: Who is my pure friend? You will know them by the following values that they bring in your purpose pursuit.

1. Make You Accountable

The very first thing about accountability is the realization that we all have blind spots. There are those who are brought down by gold (money). There are those who are brought down by glory (pride), and there are those who are brought down by girls (sex). Accountability with a pure friend requires one to be extremely vulnerable on the areas that they are weak and susceptible to a fall.

Secondly, accountability makes you lay your heart bare to your pure friend. You told them what your purpose is and what standards they should hold you by. A pure friend has an unexplainable connection to your purpose and your potential. They are well aware what you are capable of and they push you towards it. They will not accept mediocrity from you, neither will they celebrate it.

They have some authority over your life and will not hesitate to bring you back on track whenever you go astray.

2. Provide Solace

In the pursuit of purpose, you will at times face so much headache and detours. That is why they say that at times, the lonliest thing you could ever do is to be a leader. A pure friend however comes in to provide the much needed solace when battered by life and its setbacks. Just to know that there is someone who believes in you is a great boost, worth more than billions. A pure friend knows you so vulnerably, and so do you. It is a mutual friendship. There is not a thing about you that they do not know.

• They know about your greatest fears
• They know about your greatest joys
• They know about your greatest apprehensions
• They know about your greatest dreams, aspirations, wishes and desires
• They know about your greatest obstacles

Nothing is so refreshing when your soul is squeezed by life to know that there is that one friend that you can always count on.

3. Provide Impetus

I have been in situations where I was a leader and so much was expected out of the “project”. Leadership in voluntary situations such as a Spiritual Organization can be very daunting. People volunteer to be led and so they are under no obligation to come to the table. IN such situations, a pure friend is all you need. I have been in situations where if that pure friend was not there, it was hell being a leader. However, when you show up and you see your pure friend there…your day is made no matter how many other people who were supposed to come absconded. Let’s be honest: not everyone will have a buy in to your vision. Not everyone will be passionate about your purpose are you are. However, a pure friend comes along and smoothens the ride. We need such people so bad in our pursuit of purpose.

4. Create Synergy

A friend of “like Passions” brings to the table so much social capital. Like we have already shared earlier, nothing pushes the vision further and deeper than this pure friendship does. You can lose so much in life, but if you were to lose a pure friend, it is a great lose and tragedy.