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robably there is silence around you as you read this. Probably not. But if there is silence around you, it is only a myth. The air around you is filled with so much frequency and chatter. All you need to do is to tune in. All you need to have is a gadget that can capture this frequencies and transform them into sound. I am sure you know what I am talking about. I am sure you are aware what your favorite sound is. I am willing to bet that your favorite sound is that which you intentionally tune in to, blocking all the other “noise”. It is the power of focus. So it is with mental toughness. Mental toughness comes as a result of tuning out the noise and concentrating on your favorite frequency. The question that you need to answer is: What is your favorite frequency?

A more Powerful Frequency

Your selection of your favorite radio station though is based on another radio station, much more powerful that you cannot even ignore. This radio station plays on and on and on, out loud whether you like it or not. Whether you are tuned into it or not, it’s vibrations will keep coming at you, shaping the way you feel about yourself. These frequencies will determine how confident you will appear, how poised you will be to take on challenges and how eager you will be to overcome them. It is a double edged frequency, both chopping you down to size or cheering you on to victory. That frequency is the involuntary self talk! It is one of the most powerful contributors to your mental toughness.

This Happened To Me

Several years ago, almost two decades back, I was at the crossroads of my life. At that moment, I exuded a high level of mental toughness and yet I didn’t know I had. I had accidentally latched on something so powerful that I thought after going through what I went through, I would be virtually unstoppable. Unfortunately, when the next challenge came, I bulked and that lesson was seemingly lost until today. This is what happened. My father was transferred from the city to upcountry mid way through my Higher Diploma course. He was not well to do and could not get accommodation for me. He decided to get me in to a tertiary college upcountry (without consulting me). That is the moment I learnt the importance of shutting up the internal frequencies that were chopping me to size at that point in my life. I could not bring myself to believe that I would end up at that place. I refused to listen to that frequency, swatting it off like flies every time it played in my mind…and I won the battle. That’s a story for another day.

Mental Toughness and Self Talk

[ictt-tweet-inline]The worst thing you ever saw is a tight lipped human being who is “going through“[/ictt-tweet-inline]. I have learnt that while “going through” your mental game is absolutely critical to your mental toughness. You will not “go through” and succeed when you allow that frequency of negativity, failure and giving up to keep talking to you and you giving it some mental assent. It is time to rise up and shout at that frequency to SHUT UP!!! It is time to preach yourself a revival. Believe me, this is not crazy. This is how you mount an incredible come-back. This is how you hold it together when failure beckons.

Related Read: The Greatest Speech Ever

Mastering Self Talk

[ictt-tweet-inline]It is not crazy to talk to yourself, but it is crazy not to talk to yourself![/ictt-tweet-inline] Think about that. Some people are so bogged down with what other people will think when they see you talking to yourself. No you aint crazy. You are intelligent and resilient. At times I not only talk to myself, I even laugh at myself. I have noticed that [ictt-tweet-inline] at times, I am not necessarily talking to myself, I am actually talking to “the frequency” in my mind that is saying I cant, I don’t know, I don’t qualify, I don’t have what it takes, I am an African, I can never invent, I will not see it done and so forth. I shut up that guy.[/ictt-tweet-inline][/ictt-tweet-inline] And you know what? That guy is always talking. He never shuts up until you make him! Think about that. Next time I see you going through and your mouth is shut I will know that you have given up and you are on the way of being taken out by an internal frequency! Think about that!! Let’s see how you can muster self talk. Your mental toughness depends on it.

1. Be Deliberate

Don’t wait for the negative frequency to start playing before you can start speaking. Be deliberate and intentional about your self talk. In other words, get in control of what frequency is both playing internally and externally. I have seen people not only careless with what is playing inside of their minds, but also what is playing outside. People listen to songs that mostly talk about genitals and degradation of women, news about wars and rumors of wars and so on. They are not placing any filter of what is playing around their environment! How sad. Be deliberate about what you will listen to.

2. Plan it

Let’s say it again: Do not wait for the internal frequency to start talking before you do. Get in control. Set out to know what place and time you will have to do your positive self talk. And if you are a born again Christian who has the capacity to “speak in other tongues” you have a nuclear bomb with you. Imagine if you did that daily for at least thirty minutes? Imagine!! For the rest of you, you will have to do it the “hard way” You will have to find the words that you will be speaking to yourself. These are not random words. What matters though is that you will need to plan to seclude yourself somewhere at a particular time of the day and just go for it. Your mental toughness depends on it.

2. Write it Down

Exactly. You are in charge and you are in control. Write it down. Choose positive words that you can speak to yourself and have them written down. Again, Christians have an upper hand here. There are thousands of scripture references that you can use. “I am the righteousness of God”, “I am chosen”, “I am justified”, “I am called”, “I am the salt of the earth and the light of the world”, “I am blessed beyond the curse”, and so on. Write all these things down. Make it at least a four minute speech. Even if it is a simple phrase for example, “God has said that he has blessed me with everything he has, bless and bless and bless, therefore in blessing I am blessed in in multiplication I am multiplied”, repeat it over and over and over again for at least four minutes. Your mental toughness depends on it. You can do it. No degree or diploma is needed here.

3. Be Consistent

I cannot begin to tell you how critical consistency is. You will not see any change. We have already said that growth of mental toughness is in micro units. Keep repeating this over and over and over again. Remember to always swat away any notion or idea that says anything to the contrary of your confessions. Be consistent. Your mental toughness depends on it.

Your self-esteem, self-confidence,  self-concept and self-worth are critically important to your mental toughness and your mouth has a lot to do with it. Don’t you shut up. Open that mouth wide!!