How to Build Resilience in Your Life

The Importance of Patience in the Pursuit of Purpose
February 16, 2018
What Will Your ‘Last Act’ in Life Be?
February 18, 2018

How to Build Resilience in Your Life


esilience has been a great topic of interest in the recent past on this blog. I cannot over emphasize it’s critical importance in the discovery and deployment of one’s purpose and vision. Inevitably, we shall face opposition, setbacks, delays, rejection and at times, absolute failure in our pursuits. For us to get “there”, it is not our starting that matters (although starting is extremely critical), neither is it the finishing that matters. What brings home the bacon is the resilience. What links the starting and the finishing is our resilience.

What Resilience is not

Resilience is not suffering in silence in something that does not change, will not change and is in fact not growing you. I outgrew my first job within months of being employed. The rest of the time, I was stuck. But I stayed put because I was afraid that I would not find it’s substitute if i quit. And so I stayed there for 4 more years! That is not resilience.

Resilience is the tenacity to stay on course with what matters to you mastering every challenge that is thrown your way. In other words, resilience provides an upward trajectory in terms of your growth and development. [ictt-tweet-inline]If you are not growing, do not call it resilience. Rather call it enduring in fear.[/ictt-tweet-inline]. If you looked up the definition of the word “resilience” you will see an interesting observation. Much as we have increased in ICT develoment in our times, it shows that that word is used more as time progresses:

5 Ways to Create Resilience in Yourself

1. Be Prepared for Setbacks

It is foolhardy to imagine that you will go through life without a hitch. What we perceive it takes to be successful and what it actually does are sometimes miles apart:

  • We realize it needed more hours than we thought
  • We realize it needed more connections than we thought
  • We realize it attracted strange bedfellows than we first ever dared to imagine
  • We realize that it needed more resources than we were prepared to spare

Having this experience in life, we ought to be aware and to be prepared. The first preparation you can make is to have a mental assent that “Yes, it might get rough in life, but…” This stance disarms the fear that you might be harboring, and when the setback does come, you are ready to navigate on wards.

2. Understand the 4 Phases of Your Life

I share greatly on this subject in the book, “Turn Your Setbacks into Major Comebacks”.  The truth of the matter is that you are in either one of the following phases of life:

i) Just Before A Crisis:

This is where you are Ok, apparently. However, God in his intelligence has equipped you with “an internal intelligence” that warns you that something is just about to go wrong. In order to build your resilience here, it is important to heed the signs.

ii) The Beginning of a Crisis:

This is where what you were afraid of finally comes to pass. However, you still have a strong footing given that in your previous phase, you had it all together. In order to raise your resilience here, the greatest choice to make is whether to surrender and let the crisis take its course or to fight it with all you have. It’s subtle what you ought to do, but for the most part, letting the hurricane run its course has always been a better choice…don’t quote me though.

iii) During the Crisis

This is when the crisis is a full blown category 5 hurricane in your life. In order to build resilience, you have a choice either to learn all you can in that phase or to resort to being apathetic, complaining and lamenting how life has dealt you a huge blow. You will do well to note that you are not the first one, the last one, nor the only one to ever face a crisis.

iv) After The Crisis

This is where the sun comes out again and shines on you. Believe me, it always does. In order to build your resilience, it is time to do good and to plan ahead. It is time to build reserves in terms of your networks, your finances, your assets and your good deeds. These are what will help you in the next phase of your life, which we already have talked about.


3. Deploy Yourself

They say, “No matter what, do you”. In other words, deploy your inner potential. Specialize in one thing that you can do and for the most part, it is gravitating towards your purpose on earth. Why is this important? You have lots of heart energy when you are doing what matters to you. Again, if you are not specialized, you are spreading yourself too thin to such an extent that when a setback comes, you do not have root enough in yourself to withstand. [ictt-tweet-inline]Resilience is best built when you are focused on what matters to you.[/ictt-tweet-inline]

4. Deploy Your Best in Life

Excellence is not just aesthetic in our work, it also builds our resilience. Why is that? Because you can never deploy excellence by wishy washy input. Excellence like I have said does not cost you a lot, it costs you everything! You and I know that to build muscles, you need to work out your muscles. In other words, the more you throw yourself in the trenches of work, the more you are building your resilience in life. The more you are telling your inner man and the universe that you are alive and kicking.

5. Build Networks

Man is a social animal. No man is an island. We are able to leverage our social capital whenever we are faced with a setback. In fact, the more people we have in our life, I am talking about quality people, the more resilient we become in life. So it could be that your resilience is directly proportional to the quality of people that you have in your life. There are those that will give you a shoulder to lean on, and without it, you could easily give up. There are those that will physically and materially help you when your lights are totally out.

I believe that we cannot circumvent setbacks, but we can go through them with a force of resilience. So let’s keep building that resilience as we go along.